Do you realise we are inherently ungrateful? That I think is a key contributor to our being unhappy or feeling like failures in many cases. I don’t know about you, but I find myself grumbling (to myself) from time to time about the things I do not have in my life. On some occasions, it is that I do not have a husband; on others, it is that my friends are far away or have their own families and so I have no one to hang out with on a weekend. Sounds familiar?
During the Christmas season, there are tons of Christmas romance movies on television. I don’t know; I guess people are more likely to find a significant other during this season of peace on earth and goodwill? Anyway, I was watching this Christmas romance earlier and by the end of it I started feeling a bit self-conscious and perhaps slightly depressed. It just seemed that I was being left out of all this magical encounter and romance stuff, and for a while that bothered me.
I have found myself from time to time falling into the habit of comparing myself to other Christian women. I will, for example, recall a Christian woman I know, who did not have the cleanest record in the sex department. Usually, it’s some person who has probably had several relationships involving sex, even while identifying as a born-again Christian. In the meantime, I was busy saving myself for marriage.
So I have always said my blog would focus primarily on how to live an abundant life even while single, and it has. Today, however, I want to touch on a topic that is on the minds of most women, including myself, at some point: finding a husband. While I am not particularly obsessed with this idea, the truth is, I would love to be married one day. The companionship and commitment are something I desire.
Two weeks ago I spoke about having crazy faith. I really feel more and more that I am being called upon to exercise just that. I am thinking of making some changes in my life right now, career-wise, but it’s hard. It’s hard because it would require getting out of my comfort zone, essentially getting rid of my safety net, and jumping!
A few months ago, I got to worrying about my health. You see, at my (relatively) young age, I am already suffering from an arthritic condition. So I got to feeling sorry for myself, and fretting about how much worse my condition would get and whether I would eventually become disabled, etc. And then somewhere in the middle of all that worrying, I had an “epiphany” if you will. It wasn’t a voice that spoke to me, but more like a sudden realisation. It was along the lines of: “If God has taken care of you up to this point, why would he stop now?” That stopped my worrying in its tracks. That did the trick.
The truth is no matter how many times God has come through for us, with each new difficulty we face, we greet it as a completely novel problem, as if somehow it is bigger than anything God has taken on before. I think single Christian women, in particular, often worry about whether they will ever get married, have children, or whether they will remain lonely forever. We forget that the God who has carried us through every day of our single lives thus far will be around in the future. We forget that this same God has a plan for our lives, a plan to prosper us and not to harm us.
Last week I was inspired by the story behind the hymn “It is well”. You can read about the life of Horatio Spafford, who penned this marvellous hymn. Here is a man who was essentially a modern-day Job, who lost all his children, plus property and fortune. Yet, instead of turning his back on God he wrote “when sorrows like sea billows roll… it is well with my soul”.
That’s the sort of faith in God I want to have: crazy faith. How about you?