On Motherhood

 

“Dat deh woman deh womb curse man (That woman’s womb is cursed).”

Dear Sister in Christ,

That statement above was from a taxi driver in relation to the Prime Minister of Jamaica! He was obviously not a fan of her policies, and seemed to be convinced that her not having a child was a sure sign that she was somehow cursed, or evil.

I was so shocked to hear that in the twenty-first century, in a country situated in the western hemisphere, people would even dare to spout such senseless vitriol. It didn’t matter that this woman was leading a country, an astonishing accomplishment for anyone, male or female. It didn’t matter how powerful and successful she was; something was wrong with her because she was childless!

Children are no doubt a blessing, but I feel that our society has a way of vilifying women who wish not to have children or have them by a particular age, and victimising those who can’t. It is unfair, because this reduces women to being fit for nothing but motherhood and marriage. It is deceptive, because there are innumerable women whose wombs are supposedly “blessed”, but who in fact are terrible mothers, many abusing their children or neglecting them. Am I to understand that those women are somehow more exalted?

It is sentiments like these that make so many women in our society desperate to get on with the business of having children. They genuinely want children, yes, but there is also a profound fear of incurring the disapproval of society, being labelled a “mule”, or worse yet, being considered cursed. So women go ahead and have babies they can ill-afford, and single Christian women, thinking time is running out, go ahead and have babies out of wedlock, or at least consider it.

Having children is a glorious experience (well, so it seems; I wouldn’t really know), but now may not be the right time. In fact, maybe motherhood is not even in God’s plans for some of us. Notwithstanding, whatever happens in your life re marriage and motherhood, you can trust that God has a glorious purpose carved out for you. So, never give anyone the authority to make you feel less than human because you are childless. You see, your validation does not come from the people around you, from societal norms, or even from your family. It comes from God. When you understand that, you will come to realise that you are not defined by motherhood, marriage, career success or any other external factor. You are who God says you are; you are His daughter, redeemed, justified, a part of His kingdom and set apart for greatness.

I would love to know how you deal with comments like the one from our beloved taxi driver.

Love,

Daughter of a King

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