Forbidden Men

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Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Mark 14:38)


Dear Sister in Christ,

I used to think I was way beyond temptation when it came to men who were off limits, like married men. I was wrong. I have always taken pride in how “ I am just not attracted to married men”. I used to feel proud that once I found out a guy was married, I would have absolutely no interest in him because that for me was a definite deal breaker. It still is, but I am also beginning to think that maybe I had just never been tempted sufficiently. You see, whenever I was pursued by a married man or had reason to think I had become the object of the attention of any of that sub-species, I would just put them in their place and/or cut off contact with them as much as possible.

Well not too long ago, I happened to bump into a colleague who had shown a romantic interest in me from the moment he first met me. I had even been flattered and was slightly interested in him until I found out he was married, with kids! So naturally, I distanced myself. Well, I bumped into him during a work-related activity. We had not conversed alone together for a long while, and so there I was seated, he walked into the room, sat down beside me and put his head on my shoulder (very inappropriate in a working environment, I know). We got to talking and, as usual, he got to flirting, and I started to feel a tenderness towards him again.

It was then that I realised that what has worked for me all these years when it came to married men was not some spiritual gift of imperviousness to their charms, but rather keeping my distance or, if you wish, running like hell. I felt a little disappointed that I was not entirely immune to such a mundane and common temptation. I think my ego took a blow more than anything else. In all of this, I learnt one important lesson though: we are all vulnerable to temptations, and for that reason we should watch and pray, and never take anything for granted.

Would I ever give in to that temptation and enter such a relationship? No, I wouldn’t. I have too much self-respect and I can’t imagine breaking up a family, being involved in such deception, and disappointing God like that. Yet, since the flesh is weak, I would rather not take any chances. So, as far as I am concerned, avoidance of temptations and tempting circumstances  will remain my weapon of choice.

And you, how do you deal with temptations? What is your master strategy? Let me know in the “comments” section.


Daughter of a King


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