I have found myself from time to time falling into the habit of comparing myself to other Christian women. I will, for example, recall a Christian woman I know, who did not have the cleanest record in the sex department. Usually, it’s some person who has probably had several relationships involving sex, even while identifying as a born-again Christian. In the meantime, I was busy saving myself for marriage.
I would complain that this girl, who has been less than chaste and less than faithful to God, has nonetheless, found someone who loved her enough to commit his entire life to her. Why was she married and not I, I who had made the effort to be chaste? Speaking to other single Christian women, it appears I am not the only one who feels this way.
In these moments, however, God reminds me that marriage is not a prize. Let that sink in for a while. Do you realise that what we have been doing is treating marriage like some reward we are entitled to for being “good girls”? This attitude is clearly influenced by a society that believes marriage is somehow a validation of your worth as a person. Unfortunately, too many of us have bought into this lie.
The truth is, the less we see marriage as self-validation, the less we will feel insufficient as single women. Besides, we don’t know the plans God has for us and the plans he has for other people. God’s purpose for each of us on this earth is unique;our stories are unique. Instead of feeling that we are part of some marriage competition, let us press forward in this race of life towards the true prize, which is waiting for us in Heaven.
Daughter of the King